Because I fell asleep in the middle of the movie. I had a grand time before hand. Rum, costumes, rum, a caricature artist, rum, teaching small children to use a whip, and a bucket of rum. Alas, somewhere between bickering in trucks and the final credits, I found myself in a land of adventure wherein Marion rescued Indiana from falling into a pit of spikes outside the Tomb of Gilgamesh. As they descended into the bowels of the temple, some private secrets were revealed (none of which involved Shia LeBouf), several traps were cleverly disabled, and they were about to open the actual sarcophagus … when I was rudely elbowed back to wakey land.

Meanwhile, everyone else saw a bad remake of Cocoon.

My Indy was better.