I am lucky to be alive!
Ten minutes ago, a battered old blue sedan nearly ran me over in the post office parking lot. Feeling a bumper graze my knees was heart stopping enough, but the hood was scrawled with giant white shoepolish reading, “I AM COME UNTO YOU AND REBORN IN YOU.”
What?
Get back, you parasite! I expect dinner and drinks before you come within five feet of me - and don’t use that, “premature sporation” excuse! No comming. No rebirth. NO! I am not volunteering to have your alien spawn eat its way through my living abdomen before overtaking the earth.
Oh, wait. I forgot. It’s okay to nearly kill people as long as you quote the Bible at them first. That’s patriotic!
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