Archive for January, 2008

31
Jan

Mutants Among Us!

   Posted by: Chris Rachael   in Uncategorized

Okay, it’s not telepathy or shapeshifting, but it turns out all blue eyed people are descended from one mutant born somewhere between 6000 - 10,000 years ago. That’s around the same time as the ability to digest dairy as adults evolved in Europe and the Middle East.

These days, new mutations are popping up for HIV resistance and a skewing of the circadian rythms. In fact, contrary to the Science Fiction vision that we’ll all be uniformly caramel colored people with medium brown hair and brown eyes in another few thousand years, scientific evidence indicates the rate of human mutation is actually speeding up now that we’ve decided this whole agriculture business means we can stay in one place and make lots of babies. That’s right - civilization mutates humans!
30
Jan

Chattacon 33

   Posted by: Chris Rachael   in Uncategorized

Those last couple blog entries were entirely too glum. It’s time to lighten things up a bit.
Chattanooga is only a six hour drive from Louisville. That puts it well within my sphere of weekend road trips. It’s been altogether too long since I went to a good, old fashioned non-commerical SF con. The dealer’s room at GenCon is like walking into Nerdhalla, but there’s a special something about the casual party cons.

Erin and I pulled in to Chattanooga around 6 p.m. The hotel check-in was completely smooth. While there were some comic moments waiting in the pre-reg line, I actually enjoyed the heck out of the company. The hotel was smart enough to have a waitress working the line. Some guys we’d just met bought us both drinks. When they got thier badges, we ended up talking to a woman in a corset and tutu, then Erin found a bellydancer/fellow GuildWars player while I compared notes on past cons with other people in line. Everyone was incredibly friendly. I’ve never been to Chattacon, but the atmosphere felt like coming home.

The Con Suite was amazing. I’m used to sodas, cheap beer, and maybe some nachos or Chex mix. In addition to the advertised buffet of Little Debbie Snack Cakes, they had 4 types of beer on tap, the usual assortment of fountain sodas, and an ever changing buffet of hot food in crockpots. Their food was honestly better than the overpriced hotel buffet. I’m seriously impressed. Con volunteers worked their butts off so random drunks wearing Starfleet uniforms and Pirate costumes could curb their hangovers with a bowl of beef and vegetable stew, red beans and rice, chilli, rice-a-roni with a generous amount of chicken, turkey and dressing, mashed yams, PB&J, and several porktastic things I didn’t try. That’s just what was availble when I dropped in. I know there was more.

Instead of hotel room, the Con Suite took over half an old skating rink. There was seating for around 100. Normally, I don’t spend more than 20 minutes in the Con Suite all weekend, but the space, food, and beer made it a great place to meet people. When I wandered in for lunch, on Saturday I steered myself to the table of people laughing the loudest. Three hours later, we were trading phone numbers so we wouldn’t loose each other at the room parties. Awesome.

Across the skating rink, Chattacon had drum circles instead of filking. This is a fannish trend I heartily support.

The daytime programming was good. For instance, I learned a lot at the Podcasting panel. However, their evening programming really shined. If your hotel has an actual theater in it, you might as well use it. Friday night, three different bellydancing acts preceeded the Molly Maguires in concert. That was pretty neat, as I’ve enjoyed them on The Irish and Celtic Music Podcast. I believe there was another band, then the Syrens of the South held a Burlesque and Vaudville Revue.

The masquerade was a lot smaller than I expected - only 11 entries. In fact, there were fewer hall costumes than I expect at a con. If you wanted to dress up, that was fine, but the overwhelming majority stuck with jeans and t-shirts. I suspect this was mostly due to the cold January weather and long walks between buildings at the sprawling hotel.

In my frenzy of packing, I forgot my own pirate costume (as well as Batgirl and my Ottomon getup). Nevertheless, Erin and I took the opportunity to show off in a slightly different way. While everyone else was tarting it up in corsets for Saturday night, we put on our evening gowns. From that point on, the room parties were a delight. In fact, they were so good I never made it to the dance. I don’t think I made it to bed until 5 a.m. Sunday morning.

No, I don’t really have any photos from the con. There were plenty of other people lugging cameras around. This con will not lack for documentation. I took half a dozen shots on my cellphone then decided to heck with it for the weekend. I’m glad I did. Someplace like this, it’s more fun to be in the picture than behind the camera.

So that’s the tiny sliver of fun I saw. I’d rate Chattacon a nerdtastic good time.
30
Jan

Adventures in Internet Service, Part II

   Posted by: Chris Rachael   in Uncategorized

When we last left our intrepid heroine, she’d been charged with the impossible task of getting an original hardcopy of an entirely electronic document.

Since no such document exists, that obviously wasn’t going to happen.

Not their problem. Insight informed me they were holding my broadband and cable hostage until I found out where they misplaced the funds. A copy of my bank statement showing I’d paid simply wasn’t good enough. If they couldn’t find the information using their internal computer system, what alchemy was I supposed to perform for the sake of discovery? Oh, wait. I could send my thousand cybernetically enhanced uberrats into the sewers. They’d climb up every Insight customer’s toilet and search their houses for bills until they found someone with a mysterious bonus payment in my exact amount.

Screw that. I called my bank. Three customer service numbers and a trip to India later, they stopped payment on the check. There! NOW NOBODY HAS THE MONEY! The rats can stop their search for the mystery account. Can we start over from scratch?

Of course not.

It turns out Insight had the check all along. It was even somehow associated with my account, although not in a way that involved, say, paying my bill. Maybe they were using it for a complicated piece of oragami. Maybe there was an inter-office airplane fight. Regardless, one hour after the stop-payment went through, an automated call informed me my account was now being suspended for stopping payment. What? They’d already shut off my service! They denied recieving any payments since Dec. 11th! Now they were essentially admitting they had the check all along but were just holding onto it and playing mindgames with me.

I called Insight back and said look, that check’s gone bye-bye. No money has been deposited into someone else’s account. End of problem. Can we please just start over? Tell me what I owe you and I’ll go pay in cash in person. We’ll settle this today.

No deal.

When I got to the Insight kiosk in my local grocery store, they said I had a $169 credit. Buh? That completely contradicts what I’d been told an hour earlier. I tried to pay $110 for a month of service anyway, as I am SURE this is yet another bizarre error, but they didn’t want my money.

At this point, I have absolutely zero confidence that Insight’s cable or broadband won’t spontaniously shut off the next time they decide to randomize everyone’s bills. I have no idea how much money they think I owe them. Last month they wanted $485 for what should be a $110 service. Gosh, and they wonder why I called?

Chaz and I haven’t had a land line in years, but we’re seriously contemplating switching to DSL and buying our TV ala carte from iTunes. It feels like a lot more hassle - combined cable and internet with one bill and one provider is supposed to be EASY. After all the hours I’ve spent on the phone with them this month, I suspect I’d save both time and money.

29
Jan

(A lack of) Insight

   Posted by: Chris Rachael   in Uncategorized

I still feel like my internal organs are in the middle of an enthusiastic boxing match. You wouldn’t believe their stamina. It’s a good day to head down to the basement and watch a movie to distract myself from the pain. Sadly, I have Insight Cable and Broadband.

Last week, I spent over 2 hours on the phone trying to get a mysterious $275 charge cleared up. Play that funky muzak, white boys. Two managers later, people asked how the hell I managed to screw up their systems. They’d never seen anything like it. It was apparently so interesting I got to be part of an impromptu training seminar. Huzzah!

They assured me it was all cleared up, so imagine my surprise at having no internet service or cable last night.

I know, I know, those late nights at the call center can be so lonely. I do have a lovely voice, so I understand why they long to hear from me again so soon. But really darlin’s, while I’m down with food poisoning is not the time you want to hear me moan.

After a little runaround, it seems they don’t have any record of a payment since December 11th. My bank, on the other hand, shows they cashed a check only 14 days ago. Today, I allegedly get the special privilege of talking to a misplaced payments counselor after I fax them a copy of my bank statement. I pointed out I have electronic statements. That won’t do. They want a fax of a hardcopy. Joy.

Where are you when I need you, WiMax? I’ve escaped the shackles of local phone monopolies. If I can get reliable broadband, I’ll download all my TV and to hell with cable, too. As many hours as I’ve spent with them this week, Insight should be paying me.
28
Jan

Hygiene is your friend!

   Posted by: Chris Rachael   in Uncategorized

If you work in a restaurant, WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS! Every time you go to the bathroom, people. Soap. Water. Scrubby scrubby. It takes less than a minute. All the cool kids are doing it these days.

The unpopular bastards, on the other hand, give people violent and draining food poisoning. Really, it’s exactly what I wanted in the middle of a 6 hour drive home after a long 3 day weekend. When I paid for my pancakes, I’d thought about picking up some ground glass to rub in my eyes for drive time entertainment, but this is so much better. Nice job!